18 Apr Rewriting Our Inner Dialogue: Transforming Self-Talk and Beliefs
The way we speak to ourselves matters more than we often realise. That quiet inner voice, frequently running on autopilot, can either support us or sabotage us. It shapes how we show up, how we love, and how we live. For years, my own self-talk came from a place of survival, shame, and fear. It echoed the painful messages I’d internalised in childhood, messages that told me I wasn’t safe, wasn’t enough, and had to keep earning my place in the world. That voice wasn’t mine. It was inherited. Learned. Survival-based.
When I was asked if writing Broken Bones was a cathartic experience, my answer surprised a few people: “No, not really.”
But I was wrong, it has taken me to a place of deep peace.
The truth is, I’d already spent decades doing the work, turning inward, healing old wounds, sitting with discomfort, and learning to speak to myself with compassion instead of criticism. By the time I sat down to write, I wasn’t bleeding on the page. I was sharing from a scar, not a wound. The book wasn’t about releasing pain; it was about offering perspective. It was about honouring the journey, and hopefully helping someone else find their way back to themselves.
And in the process of writing, something beautiful happened: I began to hear my inner voice from a different place, a deeper place. I began to truly acknowledge the extent of the cruelty I had endured. I saw my trauma with more clarity, and I began to see my journey not as something to survive, but as a path towards becoming.
We all carry beliefs formed long before we had the awareness or tools to question them. They often sound like:
“You always mess things up.”
“You’ll never be good enough.”
“Why even try?”
These aren’t just fleeting thoughts. They become the lens through which we view ourselves and the world. But here’s the truth: they can be changed.
One of the most powerful tools I use, both in my own healing and with my clients,is simple, grounded curiosity. When a harsh inner voice shows up, I ask:
“Whose voice is that?”
“Is this belief even true?”
So often, the answer is no. It’s just something we learned to survive. But we’re not in survival anymore, we’re in choice.
Think of those optical illusion drawings, the ones where you see a young woman until, suddenly, you see the old woman. Once your perspective shifts, you can’t unsee it. That’s how beliefs work. When we become aware of them, we create space for new possibilities.
Rewriting our inner dialogue doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen. It means meeting ourselves with honesty and kindness. It means saying:
“This is hard, but I’m proud of how I’m showing up.”
“I’ve made mistakes, but I’m still learning and growing.”
“I deserve peace, joy, and love, just as I am.”
It’s not always quick, and it’s rarely easy. But it is sacred. Because each time you choose self-compassion over self-judgement, you reclaim a piece of yourself.
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
And if any of this resonates with you, I want you to know, you’re not alone.
I’ve been walking this path for over 30 years, not only as a coach and energy healer, but as someone who has lived it. I don’t offer quick fixes. I offer steady support, a listening ear, and a safe space where you can gently explore who you truly are beneath the old stories.
Let’s rewrite the story you’re telling yourself, because you deserve one that feels honest, powerful, and beautifully yours.
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